Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
