its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
