Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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