I wanna passion pit in your ass
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
