Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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