So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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