I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
