woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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