she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
