there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize