i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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