all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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