Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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