So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?