So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
