Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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(734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5

Replies (100) Good night (1134) Bad night (22568)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

is wine microwaveable?

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(908): is wine microwaveable? http://tfl.nu/o7ks

Replies (24) Good night (910) Bad night (5366)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

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(608): so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars http://tfl.nu/jmti

Replies (13) Good night (4814) Bad night (576)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?

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(618): I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game? http://tfl.nu/569n

Replies (12) Good night (4536) Bad night (849)
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(928): View more from Arizona

she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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(928): she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college. http://tfl.nu/99x7

Replies (50) Good night (9324) Bad night (1230)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

(708): View more from Illinois

WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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(612): she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :) (708): WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE http://tfl.nu/vm9y

Replies (9) Good night (6185) Bad night (1198)
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(954): View more from Florida

You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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(954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk

Replies (15) Good night (1012) Bad night (5793)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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(781): Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?! (781): Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze. http://tfl.nu/sc14

Replies (18) Good night (1040) Bad night (3742)
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(214): View more from Texas

Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.

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(214): Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going. http://tfl.nu/mf3d

Replies (8) Good night (3694) Bad night (1307)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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(443): Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER. http://tfl.nu/iqvs

Replies (4) Good night (5087) Bad night (927)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

Replies (14) Good night (826) Bad night (1742)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"

(763): View more from Minnesota

and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.

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(920): i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat" (763): and this is why you're my favorite gay friend. http://tfl.nu/djrx

Replies (6) Good night (1524) Bad night (637)
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(705): View more from Ontario

My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.

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(705): My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class. http://tfl.nu/olmr

Replies (16) Good night (2096) Bad night (444)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.

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(513): You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song. http://tfl.nu/yp8g

Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (522)
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(716): View more from New York

I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.

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(716): I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that. http://tfl.nu/47rs

Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (212)

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