Actions speak louder than pants.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident