Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

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  (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! http://tfl.nu/rxuv
  Replies (9) Good night (1165) Bad night (805)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (1860)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones

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  (416): i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones http://tfl.nu/stex
  Replies (54) Good night (3862) Bad night (1683)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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  (250): She looked kinda like Mario Batali? http://tfl.nu/17rh
  Replies (23) Good night (619) Bad night (2903)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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  (978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l
  Replies (24) Good night (9385) Bad night (898)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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  (618): he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic. http://tfl.nu/zq41
  Replies (7) Good night (2943) Bad night (762)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.

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  (302): stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth. http://tfl.nu/4sta
  Replies (14) Good night (1766) Bad night (3321)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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  (484): Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level http://tfl.nu/da15
  Replies (2) Good night (1868) Bad night (735)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?

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  (519): Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar? http://tfl.nu/o2qi
  Replies (21) Good night (1916) Bad night (685)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober

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  (443): You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober http://tfl.nu/5fbb
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (472)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.

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  (601): In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school. http://tfl.nu/n19e
  Replies (10) Good night (1264) Bad night (531)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed

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  (425): This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed http://tfl.nu/f7du
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (451)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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  (904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3
  Replies (8) Good night (541) Bad night (1166)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool

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  (403): Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool http://tfl.nu/mskr
  Replies (4) Good night (365) Bad night (644)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog

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  (570): Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog http://tfl.nu/gmkp
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (213)

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