I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?