Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
