My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
