is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
