Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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