Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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