just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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