he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
