your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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