I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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