The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
