Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
