We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
