and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
