I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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