i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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