i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A+ Viking dick
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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