i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
