If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
