Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
