I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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