there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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