your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
