so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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