it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
