There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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