What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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