Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
