I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
