Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
