Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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