He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize