M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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