mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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