He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
