I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
