he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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