I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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