8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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