some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
