We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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