Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
