Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
