Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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