i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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