I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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