I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
