One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Pappa wants mamma naked
My hand turned me down
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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